A carver's lament.

Since my start in letterboxing, back in 2004, I have carved a bazillion stamps. And I can honestly say that I enjoyed carving every one of them! I have probably lost about half of them over time, either by having them go missing in the wild, or finding their way into a black hole in with postals, or by giving them away. That is all ok, really - how attached can one be to a stamp?  

But what is more troublesome is when I think I still have a stamp and can't put my hands on it. No, I am not old enough to experience dementia, at least not yet. Years ago my ex built me a stamp drawer storage cabinet out of an old 80's side table, and it was in this cabinet that hundreds of my carved stamps languished for years, all but forgotten. Now, when I am looking for a particular stamp, I always feel like it is hiding somewhere in that cabinet. More often than not, though, I can't seem to find what I am looking for. I can find the image in my carved logbook - I actually did carve it - but the stamp "disappeared, it has"!

Such is the case of a particular calendar grid stamp I carved a long time ago for an LTC project. After spending far longer searching for it than it would have taken to re-carve it, I had to admit it was gone. To where, I have no clue. I don't remember giving it away, and I certainly would not plant a blank calendar grid ... that would be weird. I needed it, so, I just re-carved it.

And that is my lament - not that I lost the original stamp, but that I cannot duplicate the fine lines and detail in quite the same way with the materials and tools I am working with now. All I can think is 'what a shame.' Here's what I mean:

January '10 LTC

That is the calendar grid I was looking for in stamp form. You can see it in the January LTC, and the July card in the background. And here is what I re-carved:

Stamp size 2.5" x 2", on Tan-Z

I long for the days of PZ Kut, to get those fine, smooth cuts, those sweeping lines, that detail. What I am carving now looks more cartoonish, with markedly thicker lines. Now, before you get irked at me, I am happy with what I am carving now - it's just different, that's all. And I feel my whole style is changing (more toward folk art) because of the change of tools and material ... and that's ok, I guess ... but, I liked my style from before. *whine*

Carving with the Tan-Z is more like carving on Lino, while the old, white PZ could be pushed around a bit without gouging or slipping. Carving was just plain easier with PZ and Staedtlers, honestly. Carving with wood-working tools (Pfeil and Flexcut) takes more careful carving then using a Staedtler, which is held like a pencil. That was like second nature. And carving PZ Kut A - well, yeah ... it was a beautiful thing (right, Mama Cache?).  

All things considered, I am actually pretty happy with the results with Tan-Z. I am currently working on a project (which is quite fun, by the way) where I am still carving my heart out and enjoying every minute, despite my lament. I am just trying not to compare now to then. Not sure how successful I am, though.

compared with the January above,
the difference is like writing with a pen vs. a crayon!

Nice and clean ... just not as thin as I would have liked. Obimaster said he likes the thicker lines better, but I am not sure I believe him. He always wants to make me feel better. :)

The bottom line: everything changes. Everything and anything you can think of, including our artistic endeavors, talents, skills, and available materials, changes. People change, AQ has changed, the nature of boxing has changed, and the world has changed. I know this is not earth-shattering news, but please give me a minute to lament, and ultimately, appreciate what has come before.

What hasn't changed is my love of carving and creating. I am sure glad of that! I have felt that old spark of creativity and an excitement to share that with other boxers. It just seems harder to share than it was before. Everything seems more complicated and - oh, I don't know - fractured, perhaps? Not quite sure why, but I am positive it has to do with that inevitable, constant change.

the snowflake and the cloud are inchies,
while the flowers are 1" x 2.5"